Haven’t you realize it?
Life flickers each day. Magic is everywhere. Miracles happen. Yet we never notice its sparks because we’re too busy looking at the dark space of life. We ask signs, but we ignore the marks because it’s not what we hope for, we refuse to peep at the cracks where sunlight filters because we want big windows to see the whole sunshine.
There is always a connection between meeting-the-eye and the ideas we created in our minds, a connection between the blink of another light and the flickers of emotions we felt, a connection between our desires and the magnetic pulls of circumstances.
So here I am, recognizing the little sunlight that filters through the crack door of hope and believe that magic happens everyday.
I’ve been thinking hard lately about making dreams happen, doing the things I am comfortable with, free from fears, from apprehensions and from the idea of failing. Discerning about the friendship that almost lost with time, with distance. Trying not to confuse emptiness with regrets, sadness with failures, joy with fulfillment.
In life, I am between landmarks, young adult and adult, single and married, conception and children, and in-betweens, is a blank space that needs to fill in, a dash that always makes history. This year, I’ll make things happen, fill the blank space and creates history. The opposite things that might happen along the way, are graces to live by.
When I was a little girl, I was taught to believe life revolves in two directions: right and wrong, black and white. You can’t take both, you’ve got to make a choice and each choice has mixed consequences, terrible and incredible. Whatever you will take, you are responsible to carry the burden of those consequences, some will define your whole being, who you are and what you will become, others will give you lessons to be learned. If you choose wrong or black, you can be either mad or bad and if you choose right and white, you can be either a saint or a pedestal.
When I became of age, I’ve learned that things sometime fall into black and sometime fall into white, that most wrongs are not rights and most rights are not wrongs, they are simply different and unique, strange and extraordinary, that we don’t need to make things appear white to please people, we need to do things that please us.
It’s always difficult to live in a society that almost decreed perfection, clenching a systematic pattern of life’s stages in which people are expected to follow: Be in school, get good grades, finish college, get a job, stack yourself with achievements, plaques, trophies, medals, get married, have kids, build a mansion and live happily ever after. Abracadabra…
But when people notice you are in your 40s or 50s or 60s not rotating in the expected patterns of life, they think you’re insane, lazy, stupid, a total failure and severely struck with a misfortune bolt. But who cares? Is that what life really has to be defined? Is following the patterns guarantee people of a total happiness and contentment? If more than half of the world has faithfully followed the rules and patterns then why millions of the world’s population are plagued with bitterness, discontentment, loneliness and despair?
People always have a piece to say about us, you know love to spot a certain patch in our horizon, the dress we wear, the partner we choose, the odd job we take, the sedentary life we embrace, our mistakes and failures. If we’re too particular with their comments and too afraid of their criticism, we will finish the day with split minds and found ourselves in the mental institution.
The thing is, there is no comfort and assurance. Whether we will follow the pattern at such an early age or later in life, whether we are 25 or 30 or 40 or 45 or 50 when we do it or never done at all, doesn’t matter. As long as we define life as we want it to be and never hurt somebody, then our journey will be as meaningful as those people with 20 kids.
2014 will be a fulfilling year for me. A year that will give me another milestone in my journey. A year that will give me a chance to decide what intersection and landmark of life I’ll be choosing. A year where my own definition of happiness and growing gracefully will be tested. Whatever direction I will choose, whether right or wrong, black or white, I know I am ready for it.
I will consider myself as a multi-colored glass window with few patches where a sunlight filters in exciting shades. Staring at these shades and identifying its worth will provide me a good perspective of life in general and find balance: riding the thrill of adventure without losing my grip, catching the trade of contentment without sacrificing faith, dancing with challenges without moaning for displeasure.
Life can just be so charming if we believe in ourselves, believe in our worth and do the things that can make us happy in the long run. Success is just around the corner as soon as we identify our passion and get on with it. We’ve got to believe that we live in a certain form of magic everyday and behold, things flicker surprisingly.
And who would not love surprises?? ^___^