Until my longing became a real agony.
Because of the constant pressure from the people who lacked common sense, I succumbed to the most stupid mistake of assuming things wrongly. Darn, I thought I have the most accurate "instinct", but I was terribly mistaken because I missed the real point..I foolishly believed in my own illusion without considering a nagging reality that quivering underneath.
That it was just a wrong signal brought by a bad weather.
But because I was on the verge of EAGERNESS, you know eager to have someone, eager to discover the mystery of the birds and the bees, eager to know him better and eager to be closed to a guy once in a lifetime, I thoroughly gave him license to cross my boundaries, and before I knew the protruding danger, it’s too late to wheel back.
Of course life is what we make it and we are responsible for our own happiness, we are free to make our own choices where we could be happy...that's what he did exactly...a decision that should be respected...of course...
Everything fizzled that day.
I went home with a dilapidated heart, unsure how to renovate it. I just wish God will touch it to regain its lost luster. Spending holidays with family and friends temporarily gave me relief.