Crossed!

After overloading my body with too much cholesterol and fats (two slices of rich creamy cake, one cup of mango ice cream and five spoons of pancit malabon) during Ate Fely's birthday, I felt I was on the verge of purging, so I suppressed myself from getting another slice of mocha cake by drinking one glass of water then went back to my place to....uhmmm...contemplate.

Then read an intriguing line which sent a tremor to my already exhausted brain...Oh God why I am so ugly????

So crossed these past few days, disgruntled towards petty issues that even a bloody telephone ring could irk my flimsy mood. Sometimes I feel so disgusted with my surroundings that no amount of sweet, creamy yogurt could mollify my displeased spirit. I tried clearing the mess in my table to release the monster pang in my mind but I only ended up exhausted.

Everyday I have to smile and laugh to attract positive vibration, but beyond my laughter, I know everything is not all well. Each night, I would read books to keep myself busy and for the past five nights, I  wrote the family tree of King George III of Britain and King Christian IX of Denmark and their descendants up to the fifth generation to divert my thoughts elsewhere and to momentarily forget the disappointment I felt.

Too many useless thoughts, yet fewer resolutions...too many questions...too little answers...Now maybe I should stop asking God why...