Things I want

So it's 2013, the year of the black water snake according to Chinese astrology, I am not really into astrology so I did not put so much effort reading its significance to my life this year.

It seems all the predictions related to my zodiac sign are not accurate so I stop reading it. Predictions never amused me because I find it ridiculous and stupid, so this black water snake is not a big deal to me, whatever it signifies, I don't care.

For the past years, it felt like I'd traversed a thorny and dilapidated road, pushing my life into uncertainties, I continued believing in fantasy, assuming things wrongly. I'm tired doing it. The one hope that I kept saving seemed a big illusion, I misinterpreted the niceties.

Last holiday breaks, I discerned hardly whether I would continue allowing myself to be hurt with my assumption or change focus. Up to the last minute of 2012 I kept holding on. But the emotions I'd kept for such a long time seemed getting me into nowhere, there's no chance of realizing it, so I decided to loosen my grip. Even if it hurts.

This year will be my most challenging year. I really have to make up my mind where I would be heading. I am not getting any younger, it's time for me to decide what path to take. But one thing for sure, I want to get married haha!

I want to have children, I want to nurture a family, but my love life continues to be a long hell of a sad story, why no one seems interested to take me in? I felt love once but it was rejected, the guy instead chose someone else and continue looking for somebody. It was painful but I have to accept it, I cannot force someone to love me. Everyone has to make a choice whom to spend life comfortably. But I am not losing hope, I still believe in the idea of romance, I know there's still someone out there whom God prepares for me. Someone who could accept me as I am. All I need is a little patience. True love waits.

But I want to take precautions. I cannot afford to commit a mistake. I want to put everything in order. I know I am ready to take bigger responsibilities. Life is great all I have to do is keep praying.

So here are my random thoughts about what I want in life and the things I dreamed of...

1. New Self - No, I did not dream to be more daring or loud. I just want to explore the other side of me and what's beyond my conservative self. For the first time I had my hair rebonded, in the past, I thought this would be impossible because I detested experimenting my locks, but now finally, I gave it a go.My lifestyle is still the same but I want to put a little spice on it without sacrificing my dignity.

2. Trendy Apparels - The other year I was fascinated with Burberry, but last year I became enthralled with Chanel! Double C dropped earrings and Chanel bag/wallet are part of my 2012 Christmas wishlist, but wishes are just wishes anyway, I did not dream to waste my hard-earned money to luxury stuff. Maybe someday, I will consider it hehehe!

Double C dropped earrings

I am not into Louis Vuitton apparels but this bag looks great and gorgeous!

Burberry Wallet. I am fascinated with wallets!

3. I want to change my wardrobe (hahaha!) - yeah, for the first time, I want to refurbish my fashion style. I want to be more trendy, I want to wear something that defines my playful and artistic side. Last December I bought clothing apparels from Zara collection, accessories and high wedge I never thought I would dare wearing. I like Zara because it defines the true essence of being a lady, it's a high street fashion label from Spain (founded by 8th richest man in the world, Amancio Ortega) who cares about women. I want to wear lace clothing too, there's one I found in Victoria Plaza, a sexy maroon lace blouse, hope it is still there when I have money. :-) I am experimenting on accessories to compliment my outfit.

High wedge sandal

The lace trend I want to have in my closet

4. I want to travel abroad this year - If my finances would allow me, I want to take a trip abroad this year because my passport will soon be expired and I don't want to renew it at DFA without a stamp from a foreign embassy hehe. Hope God will grant this wish.

5. New Career - This April, I will be graduating from MBA and I am hoping I could find a great opportunity to work either in a government office or in a private corporation. I felt being stuck with time in my present work, so this year, it's time to explore. I don't want to be left behind.

6. My dream Job - I want to work as a Product Research Analyst!hahaha!Sounds fantastic isn't it? Anyway no harm in dreaming everyone is free to dream big things. I wondered if there's such a position in the company. I never heard about it but hope to work in a research department of a company. I love doing research, I love discovering new things, new ideas. I like working on challenges, it invigorates my mind.

7. Close relationship with God - I want to make it a point to attend mass every Sunday. Last year, I almost perfected the Sundays of the year attending masses, this year I want to make it happen. I want to have a very close relationship with God. Pray a rosary every night and make Novenas.

8. Build a house - I want to have my own house. I have few sketches and designs already. I want a simple house with glass windows, sliding doors and a beautiful landscape. I designed a cozy kitchen with a pantry on it (a pantry is an old English home tradition where food and kitchen utensils are kept). If I cannot build one in the city (due to high cost) maybe I will have to help my parents renovate our house in the province.

9. Steering business - My soap business is going well. I received so many orders. There are people who are expressing interest to become dealers. But since I am working on it alone it is very hard to increase production. Hope this year I can pay more attention on it.

10. Join Forex - I am learning forex trading now, reading everything about this form of investment, doing research and studying the market analysis trend. It yields highest return compared to mutual funds but due to the volatile foreign exchange market environment and fluctuating currencies, it needs enough experience and knowledge to avoid financial disasters.

And the long list of the things I want, continues...

I am not dreaming something really big, I just want to have at least some security in my life. I don't want a messy future. I want to put everything in order. I am an organized person, I like organizing things accordingly, I hate clutters in my surroundings. That's why I am taking things one step at a time. I make decisions carefully. I don't want to see myself ruined in the future. If God allows me to marry and have kids, I want to be hands-on. I don't like house helpers.

Hope this time, fate will be at my side.